Dear J.S.

​You waved at me before I even knew how to remember people

And before I recognized similarities between who you were and who I was told you were

It was too late 
Too late to meet you for the first time twice

Too late to re-find you and hear your voice

Too late to see if I even looked like you
So I’ll just keep fantasizing that you were this great entity 

So I’ll just keep walking around wanting and not wanting to stumble across your laid-to-restness

So I’ll just keep waiting until I find the courage to talk to you with a voice of confidence as your child
And maybe, just maybe, you would have seen me as your son

And I wonder if you’d recognize me from wherever you are

Can they see you grow older from another universe?

Maybe if I just listen, I’ll hear you tell me you wished you were still here

To see how far I’ve come

And that I got the love I deserved, but that I’ll always wonder if maybe you never left

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